My life is full of repetition. Here are some activities and habits that I continually run into, whether intentional or not.
1. Couch Naps
A couch nap is a nap you take on a couch. It is one of the best types of nap, and one of my favorite past times. Couch naps are best when no one is home, and can sometimes be complimented by being drunk. Waking up from couch naps can be grueling though, especially if you’ve gone the drunk route.
ex– The Christmas Nap:
I’d only lived in New York for three months by the time Christmas came around, and couldn’t go home because of my retail job. Being stuck in the cold, cheery city, I accepted an offer from my boss to do a Jewish Diner Christmas Brunch with some of my other coworkers–people who also had nowhere to go. I ended up drinking more than I ate (I’m a vegetarian and there was a lot of meats floating around), and afterwards I invited over my coworker Sarah, a college student also from the Bay Area.
We brought some Samuel Adams Winter Lager back to my place, and chatted about our careers while listening to a stream of the Bay’s KOIT Christmas radio. I remember her earnestly telling me “fashion is my passion” in a drunken rant, and I thought it was so funny. By 6pm I was so tired and boozy, I kicked her out so I could take a nap. A glorious couch nap. I laid down under the Christmas lights and plastic Christmas tree my dad bought me, and fell asleep to the Christmas radio. When I woke up hours later, I started a list on my phone called “Best Naps” and ranked this as #1.
2. Drinking Too Much Water, Having to Pee at Inopportune Moments
Oh, class is about to start and you’re gonna close the door and conduct the lesson in a way where there’s never an appropriate moment for me to excuse myself? Perfect, let me drink an entire bottle of water.
3. Day Drinking
Day drinking is magical because everything around you starts to look like a tumblr post, and if you play music it all starts feeling like a music video. For me, day drinking is the best because it usually doesn’t come attached to a party. I like drinking without a reason, and doing it with my close friends. Whereas drinking at night can make me flirty, outgoing, and stupid, drinking during the day makes me nostalgic, romantic, and artsy.
ex– The Post-Grad Party
My college roommates and I had a lot of leftover food and wine after our parents threw us a graduation party days prior. My sister was in town, and I really wanted to force her to hang out with my friends. It was May in LA and the sun was out, the temperature was up, and there was no school to hold us back. I expressed to my friends that I had a desire to get completely wasted during the day, and just hang out in my backyard. They complied.
We started at around noon, in my kitchen, with just my sister a couple of friends. We took shots, because I wanted to send a clear message that we were not just day drinking we were going to get day drunk. More friends joined, and then we got restless and too hot inside, so we decided to go have a drink at the bar down the street. We got cold margaritas and really started feeling a buzz. We walked back to my house sat in the backyard, and pulled out all the extra wine and champagne from the party.
This is when things get warm and fuzzy and day drinky. I had my favorite playlist going (Dark Abyss of Emotion) and some white wine. I ended up finishing a bottle to myself, and then getting into a heated discussion about the education system in our country, which prompted me to read aloud portions of an essay I wrote for class. At some point someone ordered thai food. I remember eating, then passing out on the couch (COUCH NAP!!!), which signaled the end of the party.
4. Keeping Trash In My Purse
When given the opportunity to put my used tissues, used napkins, empty splenda packets, or unimportant receipts in either the trash or my purse, I almost always choose my purse.
5. Befriending Freaks
I am a freak magnet. This is not a cute, exaggerated expression, this is a phrase that accurately describes how magnetizing I am to those in our society who are cast out as freaks. If you have a weird fetish, an unusual hobby, a history of being bullied, a quirky personality, or a dark past, chances are you will pinpoint me in a crowded room and try to befriend me. I don’t know what it is about me (if you have an idea as to why, please share) that makes them gravitate towards me. Whatever the reason, I try to take it as a compliment, and find a way to love each and every freak that I encounter.
I’ve mentioned Ricky in a previous story (The Seasonal Alien): he was a seasonal employee at the store I worked at, and by the time I realized that no one liked him, we were already “best friends” (my coworkers words, not mine.)
On his first day, I walked in to find him manning the register, and thought to myself “great, another man I have to prove my worth to” (yes, I was intimated by a lot of the alpha-males in this store because they’d all make me feel so delicate and unknowledgeable, as a female and new employee.) Ricky opened his mouth to say “would you like your receipt emailed or printed” and out came the comforting, stereotypical voice of a homosexual. I breathed a sigh of relief, and joy. A friend!
Ricky was a freak for many reasons. Most notably was his conflicting desire to be a fashion designer, and his other desire to wear a large, glittering fabric flower pinned to his black polo shirt. He alternated between black shirt and green glittery flower, black shirt and blue glittery flower, and black shirt with sequined black vest. Fashion. Ricky also allegedly told my coworker that he was “into leather.” Less freakish to me, but important to paint the picture, was his pension for drag. He showed me a picture of himself in drag, which involved a corset, and let’s just say it wasn’t that impressive.
Each day we’d gab about makeup, and he’d tell me stories about his boyfriend, even though I’d never asked. Then I started getting annoyed by Ricky because he wasn’t doing his job very well, and wasn’t trying to do it any better (which pissed off a lot of my coworkers). I realized that I was the only one who would talk to him. His poor performance at work started to impact me and the rest of the employees, and I wanted very badly to ignore him because of this. But the more he told me about his personal life (even though I never instigated the subject and surely did not want to know) the more I realized how sad his life was, and then I really couldn’t ignore him. My coworkers joked that we were “best friends!” which made me roll my eyes.
6. Spilling Things On My Shirt
Just something I love to do.
7. Spilling Coffee On White Shirts
I don’t always drink coffee (being a former addict), but when I do, I make sure it’s on a day when I’m wearing a white shirt, and I make sure to spill it.
8. Going to Concerts Alone
For a multitude of reasons, I’ve been put in situations where I have no one to go to a concert with me that I either already have tickets to, or just really don’t want to miss. I wouldn’t want to let not having a plus-one with me stop me from enjoying an artist I like play a live show. I’d rather go to a concert alone then be at home alone. So, I go to concerts alone sometimes and I just drink a lot and dance by myself and I TRY NOT TO CARE.
ex– TR/ST @ The Mezzanine in San Francisco, 2014
I had spent most of the summer hanging out with either my 15-year-old sister or my parents, so when I found out TR/ST was playing at a small venue in San Francisco, I knew that if I were to go I would have to go alone. Not wanting to miss an opportunity to see the amazing Robert Alfons live, I made an impromptu decision the day of to buy a ticket. I drove myself into the city, had my Dad drop me off at the show, then immediately went to the bar (which is now a must for me when I go to shows alone). I bopped around until TR/ST came on, and spoke to no one. During his set, I danced fearlessly and expressively, knowing that absolutely no one in that place cared about me.